This post is in response to a DungeonPrompt. This weeks prompt is: GRATITUDE
I have often wondered why people felt that there was such a strong impact on their happiness from gratitude. Every since I was kid I have thought I was grateful. Every year at Thanksgiving I had no trouble listing off a bunch of things I was grateful for. I could at any moment tell you something I was grateful for. And in genuine fashion I thought of myself as a person who did not take things for granted. I felt I was great at gratitude.
However, I never found the serenity I was seeking no matter how many times I said the serenity prayer. I was always caught up in the anticipation of problems. It could be said I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My mistake was that I thought gratitude was only about the past. I thought of it as framing up the past in a positive light. Finding the silver lining. Recognizing the value of others. Being grateful for what others did for me. I didn't realize how habitually and automatically I made assumptions that made it impossible for me to feel true gratitude.
The greatest assumption I was unaware I was making was to assume I wasn't good enough or worthy enough to be loved without earning it. In that frame of mind I could have no true gratitude because in the end I framed everything as a transaction. One where I paid and earned the love.
I have began over the last ten or eleven years to realize that I have very little gratitude towards myself. I have lived so long with the other shoe is going to drop that I have a tough time being in the moment grateful for everything around me. In the last three years I have began to see how habitual and automatic my subconscious has been in framing up the world to perpetuate my fear.
Now I am framing up the world differently. I am working to let go my fear of problems and be grateful for everything that comes but most especially to be grateful for all the love I am shown.
For me gratitude is about not fearing the future and about exploring life as a grand discovery. What will come next? I will strive to welcome it with my eyes wide open, arms spread wide, and with great joy. As I'm sure it will be amazing and helpful.
I am grateful for each moment in my life.
I am grateful for the opportunity to work on this post. Thanks Karuna for this Prompt.
“We respect nothing until we are grateful, until we take nothing for granted. There may be no quality which causes as quick a transformation from sorrow to joy, from depression to elation, from dejected futility to awakened usefulness than overflowing gratitude.”
- Aadil Palkhivala
However, I never found the serenity I was seeking no matter how many times I said the serenity prayer. I was always caught up in the anticipation of problems. It could be said I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My mistake was that I thought gratitude was only about the past. I thought of it as framing up the past in a positive light. Finding the silver lining. Recognizing the value of others. Being grateful for what others did for me. I didn't realize how habitually and automatically I made assumptions that made it impossible for me to feel true gratitude.
The greatest assumption I was unaware I was making was to assume I wasn't good enough or worthy enough to be loved without earning it. In that frame of mind I could have no true gratitude because in the end I framed everything as a transaction. One where I paid and earned the love.
I have began over the last ten or eleven years to realize that I have very little gratitude towards myself. I have lived so long with the other shoe is going to drop that I have a tough time being in the moment grateful for everything around me. In the last three years I have began to see how habitual and automatic my subconscious has been in framing up the world to perpetuate my fear.
Now I am framing up the world differently. I am working to let go my fear of problems and be grateful for everything that comes but most especially to be grateful for all the love I am shown.
For me gratitude is about not fearing the future and about exploring life as a grand discovery. What will come next? I will strive to welcome it with my eyes wide open, arms spread wide, and with great joy. As I'm sure it will be amazing and helpful.
I am grateful for each moment in my life.
I am grateful for the opportunity to work on this post. Thanks Karuna for this Prompt.
I am quite the framer myself! Never really looked at it this way though I was aware of what was going on and how it was affecting me. Nice that you could figure out what real gratitude is. I tend to feel real gratitude only after or during traumatic events... but certainly don't need those to be always going on.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for participating in the prompt Dave. I appreciate hearing all of your insights and know you will have given others food for thought as well. I especially love to hear you say “I will strive to welcome it [life] with my eyes wide open, arms spread wide, and with great joy.”
ReplyDeleteWhat a great way of looking at life. We do tend to be grateful for things outside of ourselves...I like this, makes me think a bit of being thankful not only for today but for what I am, what I do, what I've been. The serenity prayer has always grounded me but I do have to repeat it a lot to know the difference of what is out of my control. Blessings, Oliana
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